


Empty

by IncendiaGlacies



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Gen, Now with a Fix-It, RipFic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-13
Updated: 2017-11-14
Packaged: 2019-02-01 23:44:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,020
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12715287
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IncendiaGlacies/pseuds/IncendiaGlacies
Summary: “We can’t just leave you here,” Sara argued, “You shouldn’t be alone. Gideon wouldn’t want-”“Gideon’s dead. You killed her.”





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> ...the summary speaks for itself. Angst. (Scenes alternate between present and flashback in case it’s confusing)

“Rip?”

“Get out.”

“I know you’re mad-”

“Did I not make myself clear, Ms. Lance? Get out. Now.”

“Director Hunter, I am sorry for your loss but this isn’t helping any,” Ava spoke up. She walked over and turned on the lamp in the study to shed some light in the dark room. The two women looked down at the man sitting on the ground against his desk, a glass of scotch in hand. “Should you really be drinking?” Ava questioned.

“Does it matter?” Rip growled, “Turn it off. I want to be left alone.”

“We can’t just leave you here,” Sara argued, “You shouldn’t be alone. Gideon wouldn’t want-”

“Gideon’s dead. You killed her.”

Sara looked down, “Rip, I didn’t know. Otherwise I never would have-”

“Get out,” Rip repeated.

“Sir, I know you and Gideon had a special bond,” Ava started hesitantly, “But she was an AI. She was nothing but code, outdated at that and-”

“And my best friend,” Rip cut her off, “Loyal to a fault. Sentient, filled with emotions. As alive as you or me. And now she’s dead.”

“Maybe if Zari had more time,” Sara tried.

“It won’t do any good,” Rip spat, “She’s gone. There is no bringing her back. Even if there were, it wouldn’t be the same. She wouldn’t be the same. Her memories, personality, it’s all been erased. It wouldn’t be her.”

“I’m sorry, Rip. I really am,” Sara’s voice broke as she spoke.

“Please leave,” Rip said brokenly. He pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes, trying to stop the burning sensation. “I just want to be alone.”

He listened to the retreating of footsteps, growing quieter the further they got. Rip opened his eyes and glared at the lamp, still turned on. If Gideon had been there, she would have turned it off without even needing him to say anything. She was always good about that. Those weren’t thoughts he wanted to dwell on, though.

Instead, he poured himself another drink. It wasn’t like Gideon was there to stop him.

* * *

 

“Gideon, please tell me you have good news,” Sara begged the ceiling as she marched into the study.

“I’m afraid not, Captain Lance,” Gideon’s avatar appeared, “The virus has already integrated itself with the city’s computer infrastructure. Technology in 2037 was not equipped to handle viruses from 2092.”

“And what happens if we can’t stop it?” Sara sighed. Everyone was working tirelessly to fix this mistake; even Rip and Ava were here. But the stupid computer genius alien had gotten away and put her plans into motion.

Gideon pulled up a screen of the city, which had blurs of red all over it. “I’m afraid the devastation will be catastrophic,” Gideon answered, “Coast City was meant to develop into a technological hub by the 2050’s. Such a cyberattack as this will send the city back at least three decades if not more. They may not recover. The anachronism would have lasting effects on the timeline.”

“So there’s nothing we can do to stop this?” Sara huffed.

“I’m afraid not,” Gideon answered dolefully. There was a pause before she quietly confessed, “You can’t stop it. But there are other methods of solving this problem.”

“Like what? Now would be the time to speak up, Gideon!” Sara demanded.

“You cannot stop the virus from spreading, but perhaps you could change the target of the virus to something much smaller than a city. Something insignificant,” Gideon explained.

“What would the damage be?” Sara asked.

“By redirecting the threat, the city would remain mostly unharmed and would likely recover from the cyberattack within the year.”

“You can do that?”

“If you want me to,” Gideon answered.

“Why haven’t you said this before?” Sara demanded. They had all been clamoring for answers earlier and Gideon had stayed silent.

“It would not necessarily be to Director Hunter’s approval,” Gideon admitted.

“Yeah, well Rip doesn’t get to talk. He didn’t listen to me and decided to let Damien Darhk get resurrected,” Sara snorted, “If there’s a way to save this city, he can’t argue with that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Gideon, I’m Captain now,” Sara reminded her, “And I’m telling you to change the target.”

“Very well, Captain Lance. I’ll do what I can,” Gideon replied.

* * *

 

“Rip?”

“I thought I said I wanted to be left alone?” Rip sighed and hit his head against the desk.

“We know,” Ray shared a look with Jax, “But we didn’t want you to go through this alone. We get how it is-”

“Do you?” Rip asked harshly, “Do you have any idea what it feels like to lose the last connection to your past? To lose something – someone – so special that it feels like your heart has been clawed out?”

“I know what it feels like to lose the one that you love more than anything in the world,” Ray reminded him as he took a seat next to Rip, “To blame yourself over and over again. To wish it was you in their place.”

“And you’re not the only one that’s lost a partner,” Jax mourned as he sat on the other side of Rip, “Lost someone you had a special bond to.”

Rip shook his head, he didn’t want to apologize for the callousness of his words. He just wanted to be left alone and mourn in peace. “When it was Miranda and Jonas, I had Gideon to mourn with me. Now I have no one.”

“You have us. That’s why we’re here now,” Jax told him. Rip shook his head at him. “You are not the only one that cared about her, Rip.”

“You didn’t have a relationship with her for twenty years,” Rip snarked back.

“No, but she was still our friend,” Ray tried gently, “We know how hard this is. We’ve all lost someone.”

“It’s different though,” Rip told them, “This isn’t Anna or Martin. Even with my family, with Miranda and Jonas, there were bodies. There was something to hold and cry over. Something to bury. I have pictures and old toys. I have nothing of hers. Nothing to prove she existed, that she was real. Nothing to hold onto. She didn’t just die, she was destroyed.”

“It was her choice,” Jax said, “In the end it was her choice, Rip. She asked you to respect that.”

“It’s not fair,” Rip croaked, “She shouldn’t have done that.”

“You know she would have done anything for you,” Ray soothed him.

“Except listen to me and save herself,” Rip muttered bitterly.

* * *

 

“Guys!” Sara yelled as she entered the bridge, “Gideon has a solution!”

“Well what is it?” Rip demanded from his position next to Zari and Ray. The three of them were looking over the schematics for Coast City’s computer infrastructure, trying to determine if there was a weak point that Zari hack and destroy the virus.

“We’ve been looking at these forever, we can’t seem to find any weakness or any way to stop it,” Ray informed her.

“Because we can’t,” Sara said.

“Hold up,” Jax interrupted, “I thought you said Gideon had a solution?”

“We can’t stop it,” Sara repeated, “But Gideon says we can give the virus a new target. Or she can anyways.”

“How?” Zari asked, “The subroutines alone to redirect that amount of information would be tedious.”

“Well, aren’t we lucky that Gideon’s a supercomputer,” Nate spoke up.

“Not only that,” Zari glared at Nate, “But what about the target? It would have to have the same processing capability as an entire city. Anything less, and it will be completely destroyed.”

“Gideon’s got one in mind,” Sara reassured her.

“Why didn’t she mention this before?” Rip frowned.

“She said you wouldn’t like it,” Sara shrugged but answered truthfully.

“But she’s still doing it?” Rip asked.

“I’m Captain now, Rip,” Sara glared at him.

“What’s the target?” Rip asked wide-eyed. Sara stayed silent, realizing she didn’t actually know. Rip looked to the ceiling and started yelling, “Gideon! What is the target?” There was no response. Rip and Zari shared a look before running over to the main console. Rip tore the panel away, before he could touch any wiring though, a shock went through the system. “No, no, no!” he muttered.

“What’s happening?” Ray asked worriedly.

“The target would have to have the same processing capability as an entire city does,” Zari repeated herself as she tried to mess with the wires herself.

Rip ran a hand through his hair as he stood up. He took a deep breath, “The same type of processing capability a sentient AI would have. Enough to run a timeship, emotional subroutines, analyze data, take care of medical needs. Gideon is the target.”

“No, no,” Jax shook his head, “Just wait a minute.”

“Well then stop her!” Ray yelled.

“I can’t. She’s locked me out of the system. I can’t take her offline. Gideon?” Rip called again, “I am your Captain and you had better answer me right this instant!”

Finally, Gideon’s avatar appeared above the main console, “Yes, Director Hunter?”

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?” he growled at her.

“The virus is spreading at an exponential rate,” Gideon informed him, “If it is not dealt with in a timely manner then Coast City’s infrastructure will not survive the cyberattack. There will be irreversible damage to the timeline.”

“By offering yourself up as bait?” Rip asked sternly, “Gideon, you won’t survive it! It will kill you!”

“Artificial Intelligence by definition cannot be killed,” Gideon tossed back playfully.

“I can’t let you do this, Gideon,” Rip shook his head at her, “I’m sorry, you leave me no choice. Spaniel, broad, tricycle.”

“I’m afraid the Legends have already taken away all your override codes for me, Director Hunter,” Gideon told him, “And Captain Lance has already given me permission to go through with my plan.” Rip turned to look at Sara, his face caught between anger and betrayal.

“I didn’t know you were the target, Gideon,” Sara blurted out, “I never would have said yes, otherwise.”

“You already did,” Gideon told her softly.

“Well then, as Captain, I order you not to!” Sara retorted.

“I am afraid you have no power over my decisions. You have no override commands in place,” Gideon said.

“Gideon, please don’t do this,” Rip begged her, “We can find something else!”

“There is no time,” Gideon’s voice was soft, “We cannot let the city suffer. And there is no other option for the target. Better an insignificant AI than an entire city. My erasure will not have any effect on the timeline.”

“And what about its effect on me?” Rip pleaded, “Please don’t do this, please.”

“You will move on,” Gideon dismissed.

“Please, please Gideon,” Rip whispered, “I am begging you. If you love me in any way, you won’t do this!”

“And if you love me at all, you will let me do this,” Gideon told him tenderly. Then quite seriously, “This is of my own free will. Let me have that. Please, Captain.”

Rip swallowed the lump in his throat as he took a step back, “What are the chances you survive?”

“Zero point five percent,” Gideon answered, “There is a high chance that I do not actually have the same processing capability as all the computers in the entire city.”

“And even if you do? What would be the damage?” Rip demanded.

“In order to defeat the virus, it would most likely strip away everything but the basic coding. I am sure the Waverider will be able to fully operate with Ms. Tomaz’ expertise once she tweaks it,” Gideon’s voice was strangely upbeat. Somewhere behind Rip, Zari was shaking her head and glaring at the avatar.

“Of course, because that’s what matters,” Rip muttered, “So either way you would be gone?” Her silence was all the response Rip needed. He nodded once, letting out a shaky laugh, “What are the chances you’re wrong this time?”

“Have you ever known my calculations to be wrong?” Gideon teased.

“Right, of course not, because it’s you,” Rip shook his head with a wet laugh. Around him, the rest of their team members had receded, trying to give them the space they needed for their goodbyes. “How much longer do we have?”

“Not long,” Gideon admitted, “I am already working on integrating myself with the city’s infrastructure. The sooner the better.”

“Does it hurt?” Rip asked.

“Artificial Intelligence cannot feel pain,” Gideon said. Softly, she added, “Not physical pain anyways.”

Rip reached a hand out, never before had he wished so hard that Gideon had a physical form. Something to touch and comfort. Anything to remove the fear and sadness in her voice. Her emotional tones had been what he loved most about her, now it only brought him pain.

“I can’t do anything to stop you, can I?” Rip asked quietly.

“No,” Gideon told him, hoping to assuage him of any guilt he felt, “This is my choice. I have existed for far too long; let me do something meaningful with it.”

“Your life has meant something to me,” Rip said seriously. If nothing else, she had to know that. She had to know what she meant to him.

“I know. And you have been everything to me, Captain,” Gideon responded as her avatar began flickering.

“Gideon?” Rip reached out again, as if he could pull her back to safety.

“I am sorry, I cannot waste excess power anymore. I am shutting down all excess subroutines and focusing my processors on the virus. I can’t talk for much longer, Captain,” Gideon apologized guiltily.

“Do you remember how you promised to always be there for me?” Rip asked.

“I remember. Forgive me, Captain?” Gideon returned in kind.

“I don’t know if I can,” Rip answered truthfully.

“I understand. But will you promise me something? Look after yourself and let someone look after you. Please?” Gideon requested him.

“That was always your job,” Rip laughed shakily, “What, you don’t want it anymore?”

“Just in case, Captain.”

“Alright,” Rip sighed, “If you promise me something in return.”

“What would that be?” Gideon responded as the lights went on and off. He didn’t have long now.

“Promise me you’ll come back. That you’ll be fine. Lie to me if you have to,” Rip pleaded, “Just promise me you’ll be fine.”

“I promise,” Gideon agreed easily, “I will always be here, Captain.”

Liar.

* * *

 

“Are you all just tag-teaming one after the other now?” Rip asked as he pulled himself off the ground. The least he could do was at least more around a bit, get another bottle of scotch perhaps.

“Not really,” Zari said, “Thought I’d check in and let you know. There’s nothing there that could be Gideon. There’s enough basic coding that I can make the ship run on its own again. But nothing that looks anything like Gideon’s unique coding. I’m sorry.”

“I didn’t expect there to be,” Rip muttered as he poured himself a drink. He felt Zari's eyes on him and nodded to one of the cabinets, "I'm fairly certain you'll find something non-alcoholic in there. Gideon," he choked on her name, "She always tried to sway my choices."

“Well maybe she was right," Zari said as she poured herself a glass of sparkling grape juice, "I've never had the stuff, but I heard it wasn't that great."

Rip gave her a small frown, “No, you're from 2042, you were going into the second prohibition. All the alcohol there was tasteless. Truthfully, the fabricator isn’t much better. You're not missing much."

“Good to know,” Zari said as she picked up her glass, “A toast. To Gideon, a very good friend.”

“To Gideon,” Rip agreed, “The best and bravest friend a person could have.” Both of them took a moment to drink to their fallen friend.

“You know, when I first came onboard I tried to hack Gideon a little bit.”

“Oh I’m sure she loved that,” Rip gave a small smile.

“Oh yeah, seriously,” Zari rolled her eyes, “She was angry with me for a good month after, I think. I kept having cold showers; I thought it was just the norm since there’s only one bathroom until Jax told me otherwise.”

“When she was mad at me she used to lock me in my room,” Rip chuckled slightly, “Or blast 21st century pop music. I still don’t understand Britney Spears.”

“She’s kinda old,” Zari commented.

“Extremely,” Rip agreed.

“You know, before Gideon, I thought hacking computers was fun. I used to love the puzzle of it, sometimes it was easy and sometimes it was hard. Gideon was the ultimate challenge,” Zari complimented, “She makes every other computer boring and dull. Takes all the fun right out of it.” Rip appreciated how she used the present tense, as if Gideon was still around.

“Yes, I suppose it does,” Rip crossed his arms as the two fell into a comfortable silence.

“You know I met her once?” Zari finally said, “As in I actually met Gideon. Time was frozen and it was weird, but she was-”

“An actual person,” Rip nodded, “I know. I’ve seen her too.”

“Nobody else could see it. No one knew what was happening,” Zari frowned, “It was like I was the only one affected.”

“It happens sometimes,” Rip explained, “Time does strange things. And sometimes, if you’re lucky, Gideon manifests herself into a physical form.”

“So she’s done it with you too?” Zari asked.

“Once or twice,” Rip shrugged, “I was really young then. Early years of our relationship and we ended up somewhere we should have never gone.”

“What did you do?”

“Well, my AI was unresponsive and suddenly there was a woman aboard my ship. I did what any self-respecting man would have done and promptly freaked out. She never quite let me forget about it,” Rip mused.

“What happened the other time you saw her?”

Rip frowned, “I was trapped inside my own mind. She saved me, like she always has.”

“Is that why you always treat her like a person and the others don’t really?” Zari asked, “Because you’ve seen her in human form?”

“I don’t know,” Rip admitted, “I’ve always thought of her as a person. It’s hard not to the way she talks – talked - to me. Just because she didn’t have a body, didn’t make her any less real or important to me. I wish I could have made her see that.”

“I’m sure she knew. Gideon always knows,” Zari assured him, “She loved you, you know? I didn’t get much out of her when I met her, but you came up once or twice. She didn’t have to say anything, but she loved you.”

“I know,” Rip answered quietly, “She always did.” He loved her too.

* * *

 

“What happened?” Ray’s voice shook Rip out of his thoughts, where he was staring at the now empty console.

“It’s done,” Rip said quietly. He had tried calling Gideon’s name after her avatar had disappeared, but there was no response. She was gone. The ship felt empty without her presence.

“The timeline is back to normal,” Ava said as she pulled out her own devices, “Coast City is back on track to being the technological hub it was meant to be. It worked.”

“Yes, all too well,” Rip remarked bitterly as he closed his eyes.

“And Gideon?” Zari asked fearfully.

Rip shook his head, “She’s gone. She’s just…gone.”

“Well maybe we can still get her back,” Jax tried, ever the optimist.

“You’ll need to work on getting any sort of computer system up and running again,” Rip turned to Jax and Zari, “And then the power. Lights and heating first. Then work on the time drive, otherwise the Waverider will be stuck in 2037. And, and then maybe focus on getting Gideon back. But, I wouldn’t get your hopes up.” He started to turn away towards his study when he found Sara following him.

“Rip, you okay?” she asked delicately.

“No, and I think it would be best if you stayed away from me right now, Ms. Lance,” Rip told her harshly as he closed his eyes and clenched his fists.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t know,” Sara tried, “She was my friend too. I wouldn’t have done that if I had known.”

“You should have asked,” Rip bit back, “You should have talked to me at least. Instead you took away my codes and ordered her to go through with it.” Somewhere inside him he realized Sara hadn’t realized what she had been doing. She hadn’t spent twenty years learning Gideon. She didn’t know how manipulative the AI could be if she wanted to. But it didn’t change the facts. Gideon was dead.

“Like you always talk about what you’re gonna do?” Sara ranted. Rip stepped back feeling the air leave him, she wanted to talk about this now? Compare their mistakes now? “I’m sorry,” Sara backtracked, “I didn’t mean that.”

“I want to be alone right now,” Rip said quietly, “I’d like to mourn in peace.” He turned away and walked to his study without further interruption. He wandered around and touched the console in his study where Gideon would always appear to him with words of advice. In his early days on the Waverider he always used to complain how it was cold and drafty. It was lonely being away from Miranda for so long. But now, even surrounded by all these people, Rip had never felt more alone.

* * *

 

“When my brother died, this totem was all I had left of him,” Zari covered her necklace with one hand, “It helped me say goodbye to him.”

“I have my pocket watch from when my family died. My wife’s wedding ring, an old toy of my son’s. I don’t have anything tangible of Gideon’s,” Rip sighed.

“You have this ship,” Zari explained, “I’ll leave you to say goodbye.” She nodded and left him alone in the study. Completely alone.

“I don’t know where to start,” Rip looked around the room. He paced back and forth, thinking to himself. He remembered the rage and sorrow he felt when he lost his family, how it had filled him up and motivated his vendetta against Savage. Now he felt defeated, empty. There was no point to it. Finally he ended up by Gideon’s console again. “You’ve always been there for me. Always protected me, even from myself. For half my life, you’ve been by my side. And I’m not so sure how I’ll go on without you.”

He blinked back tears, “The worst part is, I can’t even be angry with you. I am, but it’s so utterly selfish of me. You have done everything for me always and you only asked me for this one thing. But still, it’s not fair. It’s not fair that you’re gone and I have to go on. Remember how we always used to talk about you outliving me? You never wanted to discuss it, always swore you’d turn yourself off rather than get a new Captain. I never minded, never thought much of it. I always thought I’d be the first to go, you were indestructible.”

Rip rested his weight against the console. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “I love you. I didn’t say it enough, hardly ever, if at all. But I hope you knew. You had to have known. Otherwise, as late as it is, just know that. I love you, and I always will.”

Rip straightened himself then, brushed away his tears and dusted off his clothes. There was nothing left for him here now. He finally stepped out of his old study and found the Legends and Ava gathered around on the bridge.

“Well, it seems the ship is in working order,” Rip nodded at them, “The computer systems should be able to run a basic program to monitor the ship. I’ll send Gary soon to do some software updates so that you use the same anachronism locating programs as we do. There’ll be no need for a new AI then.”

“You’re not going to take the ship from us?” Sara asked.

“No, there doesn’t seem to be any point to that,” Rip shrugged, “Besides you’ll need it to track down Mallus’ latest whereabouts. And if you happen to find any leads on Indigo, then I want to know about it immediately.” He wanted that alien to pay for what she did to his Gideon.

“Of course,” Zari agreed.

“Agent Sharpe, I assume you’ll stay onboard to help the Legends on their next mission?” Rip asked. At her nod, Rip continued, “In which case I think it’s time I took my leave.”

“You know you can stay if you want,” Jax offered while Sara nodded along, “We know what this place means to you.”

“This ship means nothing to me,” Rip dismissed easily, “Everything that was important to me on this ship is gone now. There’s nothing left for me here. I’m sorry.”

Rip looked at his Legends one last time before opening the corridor. He took in the ship once more. His sanctuary, his home for so many years. The housing of his one true confidante. This place held so many memories of love and laughter. From Miranda, Jonas, the Legends. But Gideon was always the one constant. She gave it life and made it home.

But now she was gone, and the ship was nothing but an empty shell of what it used to be. So he left.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He had to be logical about this. Gideon was gone. He couldn’t bring her back. Rip took a shaky step back and sat on the edge of his desk. Despite his best efforts, he could still feel his heart fluttering with hope. “Don’t do this; don’t give me false hope like this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Empty was meant to be a standalone fic, but it was always written with a loophole in mind. So if I broke your heart a little too much (like I did mine) here’s a fix it fic with fluff to help.

“So, this is how you spend your time when you’re not tagging along with us.”

Rip looked up from his papers to see Zari and Jax at his door. He leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms, “It is.”

“I expected there to be more glamor at the Time Bureau,” Zari continued musing.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Did you see the tech they were using out there? No wonder Ray always wants to come visit,” Jax joked with her.

“What are you two doing here?” Rip finally snapped at them as he got up and walked around his desk. He didn’t have time for all this mindless chatter. Zari looked at the man, properly this time. She took in the wrinkled clothes; he’d given up on wearing a suit. His face now sported a light beard and she wondered if this was how he looked before leaving the Legends like they always talked about. And she noticed the bags under his eyes, the haggard and tired look marred on his face. He just looked defeated.

“We took the jumpship, it’s just the two of us. We needed to talk to you. You haven’t come back since, well you know,” Jax gestured uncomfortably.

“Since Gideon died?” Rip raised an eyebrow. No point in sidestepping around the facts. “I didn’t see the point.”

“It’s been three months,” Zari pointed out, “You don’t look so good. So this is your plan? Drink and mourn your life away?”

“There’s no time limit on grief, and everyone handles it differently,” Rip retorted, “Now, is there something you needed?”

Zari and Jax shared a look before the young man spoke, “Actually, we think we have something you might be interested in.”

Rip looked at them jadedly, “Have you tracked down Mallus yet?” They had already taken care of Indigo, she had been the number one priority on Rip’s list at the time. Now all he needed was for Mallus to be taken care of properly. Then he could take his leave, resign from the Bureau and leave it in the capable hands of Director Baxter. There was no point to time travel. Not when he always failed to save his loved ones.

“I was working on the Waverider with Jax and fixing up the computer systems when I noticed something,” Zari stepped forward and showed Rip the tablet in her hand, “Did you know that the Waverider can pick up a very specific signal? It’s not a radio signal or anything it’s-”

“It can pick up time beacons,” Rip nodded, “Yes, I know. Every timeship from the Time Masters’ fleet could do that. Those signals can travel through all of time and space, it’s necessary to be able to send distress signals. How else do you think we communicate when we have agents in different time periods?”

“We know, but we picked up a signal that’s different than the one Agent Sharpe and the Bureau use to contact us,” Jax explained.

Rip crossed his arms, “I made sure the Bureau runs at a different frequency than what the Time Masters’ used, I didn’t want there to be any more problems, what with two time policing agencies meeting each other. It could be catastrophic. Gideon could always pick up the Time Master’s signals and she patched herself to receive the Bureau’s as well. If the basic computer program is still there then it’s possible to receive both.”

“Well we got a signal,” Jax grinned.

“And why should I be happy about this?” Rip frowned, “If you’re receiving signals on the Time Master frequency then you should leave it alone. Don’t mess with past events Jax, you know this.”

“You don’t know what the signal is yet,” Zari said smugly.

“Alright, fine. What is it?” Rip huffed. He had work to do; these two really had to hurry it up.

“Do you remember how when I tried to bring back Gideon, there was nothing of her unique code left?” Zari suddenly changed the subject.

“I do. What does that have to do with anything?” Rip tried to ignore the gaping hole in his chest. This was the last discussion he ever wanted to have. He didn’t want to relive the pain again.

“Don’t you think it’s weird?” Zari continued, “There was nothing of her left. It wasn’t even pieces of her code that were messed up. She was just gone.”

“She was destroyed,” Rip hissed at them, “How is this an appropriate topic?”

“That signal we got?” Jax stepped in, sharing a hopeful look with Zari, “It’s resonating all throughout time. Every single second.”

“Either we’re talking about Gideon or the signal. Choose a topic!” Rip demanded.

“We’re talking about both,” Zari explained.

“The signal is Morse code, Rip,” Jax continued, “Just like Gideon used when we were stuck in your mind.”

“And when I was frozen in time,” Zari added.

“Just because it’s Morse code doesn’t mean she’s magically out there somewhere,” Rip said quietly. He had to be logical about this. Gideon was gone. He couldn’t bring her back. Rip took a shaky step back and sat on the edge of his desk. Despite his best efforts, he could still feel his heart fluttering with hope. “Don’t do this; don’t give me false hope like this.”

“It’s not false hope,” Jax insisted.

“She didn’t survive!” Rip burst out, “She’s gone! She’s gone and nothing can bring her back, okay?”

“And if it is her?” Jax asked harshly, “If it’s her and she’s sending a message to you, trying to get your attention, don’t you owe her that much to try? She always had faith in you, Rip. Where’s yours?”

“I can’t do this again,” Rip shook his head, “I tried with my family and it was no use. If it’s not her – how could it be?”

“Have faith,” Zari said, “You don’t know what she said yet.”

“What?” Rip asked tiredly as he scrubbed his face with one hand. He couldn’t do this. They were getting his hopes up. At least Gideon always used to give him straight hard facts and probabilities with her endless optimism.

Jax smiled, “Captain.”

* * *

 

“So where exactly are we going?” Zari asked impatiently again. She had been trying to get their attention for a while now. As soon as Rip heard the message, he agreed and the three of them left on the jumpship. And the guys had been mostly quiet since then.

“You said the signal was being broadcast all throughout time,” Rip started. He still wasn’t entirely sure why he agreed to this. One word didn’t mean anything, except it was that word. Her word for him. She had once told him he would always be her Captain. It had meant something to her.

“Yeah,” Zari nodded, “We couldn’t pinpoint the source.”

“You couldn’t pinpoint the source because it’s not coming from a place in time. It’s coming from outside of time.”

“You mean?” Jax asked his half-formed question. Rip nodded once and Jax sighed, “Man, how many times we gotta go back to that stupid place?”

“Does anybody want to share with the rest of the class where we’re going?” Zari insisted.

“We are going to the Vanishing Point,” Rip finally answered, “It’s where the Time Masters were headquartered. In a place that exists outside of time so they could oversee all of it.”

“A place outside of time?” Zari asked in disbelief, “How does that even work? How can you not have time? It’s-”

“Complicated,” Rip finished, “Believe me, you’ll feel it when you get there.”

“So if time doesn’t exist, that means we don’t age while we’re there?” Zari asked.

“I suppose,” Rip shrugged. Honestly, he’d never given it much thought. Trips to the Vanishing Point were always common since childhood and then it became his place of work. It was a normal thing for him.

“And you’ve spent a lot of time here?”

“Yes. I used to work here.”

“So how old are you really?” Zari furrowed her brow at him. Beside her, Jax also started gazing at Rip in interest; it wasn’t something he’d thought of before.

“Best not to think about it. Now come on,” Rip placed the jumpship into park and turned back to his team, “Ready for this?” The two of them nodded back and they all exited the ship.

Zari looked around the dark place. The Bureau had always been so bright and filled with people always bustling around. But this place was just dark, bits of broken tech spread across places, a few abandoned timeships that looked similar to the Waverider, and scorch marks on the floor.

“Real lively place here,” Zari commented sarcastically.

“Yeah, well we kinda blew the place up,” Jax explained, “Guess we never got around to telling you that story.”

“Yeah, you missed that,” Zari responded drily.

“My former employers were manipulating time to let an evil dictator rise and take over the world. It was for the best,” Rip said.

“So you blew up your former bosses? That’s pretty badass.”

Rip quirked a smile at her, “Thank you.”

“Okay, so if Gideon’s here, where would she be?” Jax brought them back to their mission.

“I can show you the system mainframe that was used. It’s where the AIs would go when they needed to be updated. It’s the only place I can think of she would be,” Rip said. He led them through the dark maze until they got to a room with futuristic technology.

“It’s a bit ahead of my time,” Zari admitted.

“The technology is similar to that on the Waverider,” Rip assured her as he moved forward. “I should be able to handle the basics of the search and then I’ll hand it over to you.” He did everything he could to check the coding on the technology. There was nothing there though. Nothing to suggest any AI had survived after the blast.

“She’s not here. You were wrong,” Rip told them brokenly.

“Let me try,” Zari shoved him out of the way and began her own work. She found the same results as Rip did, nothing there. “Maybe we can-”

“This was a waste of our time,” Rip cut her off, “There is nothing here!”

“I’m not sure about that,” Jax spoke up finally. The other two turned to him and found the young man looking at a spot on the floor. “I don’t think we’re alone. That’s blood on the floor.”

“So?” Rip scoffed.

“So it’s still fresh,” Jax pointed out, “Rip, someone’s here.”

“That’s impossible,” Rip frowned, “The last people to use this place was the Legion of Doom. So unless it’s Damien Darhk I don’t see who-”

“I don’t think it is,” Zari stepped up next to the boys, “Do you hear that?” Somewhere in the distance, there was a faint metallic rhythmic clanging. Repeating over and over again.

“Captain,” Jax translated. Rip shared a look with them and stepped forward to lead the way. He had been the one to grow up here; this was his territory.

“I don’t understand, is there some sort of backup system somewhere? How is she sending it out?” Jax asked as they hurried after Rip. For such a slight frame, the man moved fast when he wanted to.

“It wasn’t a computer signal that was broadcasting, it’s an actual physical clanging” Rip explained.

As Jax stared at him in confusion and surprise while Zari asked, “How is she managing to keep it up for so long?”

“Time doesn’t work here, remember?” Rip reminded her, “So your mind readjusts for it. She may have only played it once, but it’s echoing everywhere until someone responds properly.”

“So where are we going?” Jax asked, “And what exactly are we looking for?”

“The Council Room,” Rip answered, “It’s the only place large enough to resonate the sound that loudly.” Rip finally stopped running as they entered a wide arena, still dark with a single spotlight at the center of the room. “As to what we’re looking for? Her.” In the middle of the room, a woman lay crumpled on the ground.

“Gideon,” Jax whispered as he saw the woman. She looked exactly the same as she had when he met her in Rip’s mind. Rip was already halfway across the room and kneeling by her side, brushing her hair back.

He pressed his fingers to her neck and yelled, “She has a pulse. She’s alive. If only just.”

“I don’t understand,” Jax said as he and Zari ran over as well, “How is she here? As a human?”

“Sometimes time is strange,” Zari shared a smile with Rip.

“And if you’re really lucky,” Rip continued.

“Then Gideon manifests herself into physical form,” Zari finished, “We got lucky. Extremely so.”

“Except this never happens to me,” Rip breathed, “I never get lucky. Never get a second chance. I don’t even know who to thank.”

“Just accept it,” Zari advised.

“So time messed up, turned Gideon into a human and then what? Spat her out?” Jax summarized.

“A rather rudimentary view, but essentially yes,” Rip agreed. He turned Gideon from her curled position on her side to lay her flat on her back.

Jax hissed as he saw the blood soaking her shirt. “Rip, that doesn’t look good.”

“I know,” Rip pressed the wound against her stomach gently. She groaned softly, whimpering under her breath. “Gideon, can you hear me?”

“Stop, make it stop, please no more,” Gideon whimpered.

“Shhh, it’s alright. You’re safe now. I promise. I won’t let anything happen to you,” Rip hushed her as he cupped her face and stroked her hair.

“Hurts. Please, stop, no more,” Gideon mumbled, her eyes fluttering open and closed repeatedly.

“The virus must have hurt her programming and it manifested itself as a physical injury,” Zari realized.

“Yes, it seems that way,” Rip leaned closer to Gideon, “Gideon? It’s me, Rip. Your Captain.”

“Captain?” Gideon murmured. Barely she slit her eyes open for more than a few seconds, letting out another moan, “It hurts. I can’t any more. Please. Don’t want this.”

“Shh, I know, I know,” Rip soothed, “We’ll take care of you, alright? I promise. Just please, please stay with me. Focus on my voice, okay? Stay with me Gideon.”

Gideon curled closer to Rip, following the sound of his voice, her painful moans filling the air. “Don’t want to,” she sighed against him as her eyes closed again.

“No, no, no,” Rip begged, “Please, for me, Gideon. Just hold on. Focus on me, okay? We’re going to fix you right up. I can’t lose you again, okay? Promise me you’ll stay. Promise.”

There was no response. Rip pressed his fingers against her neck and found a light pulse, it was enough of a chance. He scooped her into his arms, holding her bridal style. She was much lighter than he expected.

“What’s the plan?” Jax asked.

“We get her back to the Bureau. Have the doctors there fix her,” Rip replied already walking.

“Wouldn’t the Waverider be better-”

“Most of the medical programming on the Waverider was due to Gideon’s knowledge. Unless you’ve done extensive work on it, the Bureau is better,” Rip informed.

“What about the time jump?” Jax demanded, “You said we can’t time jump with major injuries. She could get worse!”

“Well she’s certainly not going to get better if we leave her here!” Rip snapped. He looked down, ashamed at his tone of voice. Quietly, he corrected himself, “It’s our only chance. And I am not losing her again. I can’t.”

* * *

 

Pain. That was the first thing she felt. The sharp sting at her side, melting into something duller but more constant. It was wrong, it was all just wrong.

“Easy there Sleeping Beauty, you’ve been through a lot,” a deep voice chuckled from somewhere. She knew that voice. How did she know that voice?

“Should we get the doctor?” another familiar voice asked. A woman this time.

“Not just yet,” another man spoke. At his tone, she felt something stir inside her. “Gideon? Can you hear me?” The voice was soft and comforting and it came with touch. Something patting her fondly. There was an irritating sound, low and annoying. Oh, it was her.

“Shhh, I know it hurts, can you open your eyes for me? Please?” the man asked kindly. So she did, slowly. There was a man and a woman looking down at her worriedly.

“Hey Gideon, it’s me. Jax,” the man said, “And Zari. You remember us?” She didn’t. She knew they were important but she couldn’t place it. Why didn’t she know? She watched the man’s face drop in sadness, oh she felt bad about that.

Something touched her again and she turned her attention to the side. Another man, with tired eyes, unshaven, wrapped in an old duster and sitting by the edge of the bed. But there was a smile on his face, small and sincere. “How about me?” he whispered, “Do you know who I am?” She couldn’t say. Why couldn’t she say? How was she supposed to know?

“Rip,” Jax addressed the other man, “This isn’t good. She doesn’t know who we are.” Rip. No, that wasn’t right. That wasn’t his name. It wasn’t right!

“The doctor said it was a possibility,” the woman said, “She’s been through all that trauma and was alone for who knows how long. There were bound to be some side effects.”

She watched as the man (Rip?) closed his eyes at the woman’s words. “It’s fine. We’ll figure it out,” he dismissed their concerns. He turned to her again, “My name is Rip. Captain Rip Hunter. I used to be your Captain.”

“You’ll always be my Captain,” she automatically replied. She watched his eyes widen but couldn’t pay attention anymore, it hurt too much. Her Captain. Always her Captain. Oh how could she forget? Gideon whimpered as the information hit her all at once. It was too much to process and sift through. How did she know what was important? Everything regarding her Captain, anything else? It wasn’t fair, she didn’t want to forget anything.

“Gideon?” Rip panicked and reached out as she held her temples and curled in on herself, “Gideon, what’s wrong?”

“Fine, I’m fine,” she gasped, “I just, I can’t keep it all. I can’t remember it all. Too much information.”

“Take all the infinite memory space of an AI and put it in a human,” Zari said, “Her brain can’t handle it.”

“Okay, okay,” Rip stroked her hair, “Just focus on my voice, don’t do it all at once. Just focus on me and remember slowly. Only the important stuff. You don’t have to do it all at once.” He watched her breathing slowly even out as he whispered complacencies to her. He rubbed her back, like he used to do when Jonas couldn’t stop crying as a child, and slowly Gideon relaxed and uncurled.

“One hell of a panic attack,” Jax commented with a low whistle. Rip immediately glared at him, but he heard a giggle next to him. Gideon.

“Yes, they are much worse than I imagined,” Gideon muttered, “Still, expected, considering the abrupt change to being – being human.” She sat up, far too fast for Rip to stop her. Her hands went to her hair, pulling it into a bunch so she could stare at it. Then her hands explored her face and her arms, briefly she looked down at the rest of her body.

Zari moved away and brought back a spare mirror from the end table for her, “Here, take a look at yourself.”

“It’s how I always imagined myself,” Gideon breathed as she stared at her reflection. Her large grey eyes, sharp cheekbones, brown hair. Exactly how she always wanted. She turned to look at the small crowd, self-consciously asking, “How – how do you think I look?”

“You look beautiful,” Jax smiled, “Still think you should have been a redhead though.”

As Zari gave him a confused look, Rip assured her, “You look perfect, absolutely perfect.” Gideon smiled at him as he reached out and cradled her face with his hand, “What happened?”

“I don’t – I can’t-”

“It’s okay, just take it slow.”

“It’s all a blur,” Gideon frowned trying to concentrate on the right memories, “There, there was a virus-”

“Yes, good.”

“And it was taking hold of me. Like it was eating away at me. I – it hurt. It actually hurt me. I had never felt pain before,” Gideon looked at them all miserably, “But I imagine that’s what it was. I remember not liking it.”

“How did you become human?” Jax asked.

“I was lost. The virus was gone, I fought back, and I won-”

“Of course you did,” Rip looked at her with pride.

“And then I was lost. Somewhere in the computer systems. And I tried getting out, but it went wrong – and then, then I was at the Vanishing Point and it just hurt. Everything hurt. I – I was dying,” Gideon gasped at the realization. Rip’s arms were immediately around her; he maneuvered himself onto her bed and held her against his chest. Zari and Jax weren’t far behind as they petted at her hair and arms.

“It’s alright,” Jax comforted, “You’re fine now. We got you, we got you girl.”

“Thank you,” Gideon murmured. She leaned against Rip, “You came back for me.” He squeezed her tighter. How many times had he wished he could do this? Hold her in his arms; offer her the same comfort she had always given him?

“We don’t leave our friends behind,” Zari told her, “And the Waverider was getting boring without you.”

Rip saw Gideon frown at that. “What’s wrong?” he asked worriedly.

“The Waverider, the ship,” Gideon looked around the room, “I can’t – I can’t feel it. I’ve always known everything that was happening on that ship. The engines, the medbay, fabricator, where everyone was. I can’t feel it. I can’t sense it!”

“You’re not integrated with the computer systems anymore, Gideon,” Rip rubbed her arms, “You’re human now. You won’t be able to sense it anymore.”

“No!” Gideon tore away from his arms, “No, that’s not fair!”

“Gideon-”

“It’s me, I – it’s a part of me!” Gideon cried, “I need it-”

“Gideon, we can’t-”

“Do you have any idea what it feels like to lose a part of you? To lose that connection to something so important?”

“I do actually have some idea, thank you very much,” Rip snapped at her. Gideon flinched back at the harshness of his words and blinked away her tears. Humans leaked at every little thing.

“We – we should go wait outside,” Jax pointed to the exits, “We’ll let the Legends know the good news.”

“Yeah, we should do that,” Zari nodded. She squeezed Gideon’s wrist one last time, “Feel better Gideon. We’ll see you soon.”

Gideon waited until they were gone to turn to her Captain as he paced in his corner. “I’m sorry, Captain,” Gideon apologized softly, “I should have realized. Your family-”

“My family?” Rip looked at her incredulously. He looked away for a second and clenched his fist, “Yes, yes my family, Gideon. Among other things.”

Gideon frowned, trying to infer what he was referring to, “Me?”

“Yes, you,” Rip bit out, “My partner, for half my life. And you were gone, Gideon. Just gone. Without a trace.”

Gideon looked at the shiny film of tears in his eyes, listened to the way his voice broke. How he didn’t have his normal suit but his old coat for comfort. And his beard, that wasn’t well kept as it used to be. She reached out for him then dropped her hand.

Rip walked up to her and took a seat in his chair, scooting it even closer to the bed. He took her hand and placed it on his cheek, “You’re allowed to touch me.”

“I’ve never got to before,” Gideon whispered as her fingers caressed his cheek. “I’ve never got to laugh, feel my heart beat, felt pain. I’ve never got to live before.”

“Now you do,” Rip said quietly.

“Yes. I had to die to live,” Gideon mused. She dropped her hand as she examined her Captain, “And you, Captain? How did you do without me?”

“I – I was fine,” Rip shrugged uneasily. Gideon gave him a sharp look and he sighed, “I was alone, Gideon. You were gone and I was completely alone-”

“You could have had the Bureau or Legends help you.”

“It wouldn’t be the same,” Rip shook his head, “You don’t know what it’s like. To lose everything like that.”

“I loved Miranda and Jonas as well,” Gideon reminded him, “And I have had other Captains. And not all of them lived. I have lost too.”

“I’m sorry,” Rip looked down. “I survived. Barely. I lost sleep, I was tired all the time, maybe drank a little more than I should have. Three longest months of my life I think.”

“It’s been three months for you?” Gideon frowned, “It feels like it all just happened for me. Honestly, three months. You can’t do without me for two days. You’re utterly hopeless without me, Captain.”

Rip saw the upturn of her lips and couldn’t help but smile back as he bantered lightly, “Finally figure that out did you?” He took her hands in his, “I am completely and hopelessly lost without you, Gideon. I don’t know if I could have done it, lived without you.”

“I’m sorry,” Gideon apologized, “But I had to. I couldn’t let all those people suffer. It would have been wrong.”

“And what about me?” Rip questioned, “I suffered. Don’t you care about that?”

“If I could have done something about that, I would have,” Gideon told him kindly, “Besides, I made you a promise. Have you ever known me to break my promises?”

“Never,” Rip agreed. He teased her lightly, “Though, your probabilities were a bit off.”

“Well there’s a first time for everything,” Gideon narrowed his eyes at him, “And if we’re talking about the amount of times I’ve been right compared to you, I still win. By a lot.”

“That is what you deemed important to remember?” Rip raised an eyebrow, “How many times you’ve been right compared to me?”

Gideon sniffed, “Technically speaking, everything to do with you is important to me.”

Rip simply smiled at her confession. “Here, you should get some rest,” he laid her back against her pillows and moved to tuck her in properly.

“Wait,” Gideon grabbed his hand, “Will – will you stay with me?”

“I’ll be right here,” Rip nodded to his chair. Gideon looked from the chair to him unsurely. “Or I could be closer,” he offered. Gingerly, he turned her to her good side and lied down beside her. Gently, he pulled her back to his front, his arm slinging around her waist. “How’s this?”

“Better,” Gideon murmured.

Rip chuckled, “I get the feeling the doctor won’t be too impressed with our sleeping arrangement. I’m not supposed to disturb your sleep, or the injury.”

“I’ll sleep better with you here,” Gideon insisted.

“Okay,” Rip whispered in response. “Gideon? Just don’t – don’t do that again. I can’t lose you. I can’t.”

“I’m human now, Captain. My lifespan is as limited as yours and my body just as fragile. I’ll have to die someday,” Gideon explained.

“Well then let me go first,” Rip bargained.

“No,” Gideon stiffened in his arms, “How is that fair? You would ask me to live without you? What makes you think I would be any better off without you than you were without me?”

“Alright, alright, fine,” Rip soothed her, “Then we’ll both just have to live out long lives together until we’re old and grey and then leave together.”

“I suppose that would be acceptable,” Gideon obliged, her hand coming to rest on top of his. Quietly, she confessed, “This helps. I can’t feel the Waverider, but this closeness helps.”

“Makes the pain in your chest dull, doesn’t it?” Rip agreed with her, “I feel the same. You were gone and I had nothing to remember you. Nothing tangible. Now you’re here, I don’t think I can ever let go.”

“I don’t want you to,” Gideon admitted. Rip frowned as he felt her tap against his hand. Some sort of pattern, dashes and dots.

He smiled as he realized and held her tighter in his arms. The empty gaping hole in his chest was finally healing properly. “I love you too. But you already knew that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually rather proud of this...

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly I made myself cry writing this, so any love would be appreciated?


End file.
